• The ask tool
• Reduce stress by asking

Making the right decision at the right time is not only a pressing need in all of us, but life achievement and happiness rest on this. Sometimes it seems that there are so many possible choices, all equally important or attractive/wrong, that your head feels like a maze in which you wander, exploring possibilities, but getting no where at all.

So over the next week or two I will share with you my tried and tested techniques for getting answers to life's challenges. But it is vital that you understand and consciously work with the guiding beliefs behind these techniques.

The first guiding belief is this – YOU have the answers for your life - not your mother, your boss, your lover nor your psychologist. They can support you, talk to you and give their opinion, but only YOU hold your blueprint. Your blueprint is coded in your system. Therefore the way forward is to tap into your own internal code. The minute you start searching outside yourself for answers, remind yourself of this abiding truth and go back to searching within.

The second guiding belief is this – you WILL receive the answers you are seeking, but in their own time not yours. We are conditioned by our modern world to want and receive instant gratification. We get frustrated if we don't get what we want now! Entertaining this expectation of instancy, whether consciously or unconsciously, will hold you back. In fact being impatient will bring up all the negative emotions of fear and frustration - which in turn will prevent your hearing your own voice of truth.

Since these two beliefs underpin the technique I will be sharing, its important to keep mindful of them. Write these ideas on several pieces of paper and paste them up all over your life – on your mirror, next to your kettle, in your diary, on your pc - anywhere you will see it often. Then read them frequently. In this way you will gear your system appropriately.

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The "ask" tool

The first step to finding the answers you seek is to tap into your personal success code. To do this you simply ask yourself for the answer eg "which job should I accept?" or "show me who to call and what to say to make my sales target this month" or "how do I achieve…..?". The most powerful time to pose these questions is just before you go to sleep. The ideal method is to ask all through the day, ending off with an intense period (10 continuous minutes) of repeated asking before you go to sleep. In this way your mind, which never sleeps, is given a clear directive.

In 1997 before I started my current work I used this technique to re-position myself out of the computer industry and into a completely new type of work. Obviously when I started, my thinking centred around my own ideas. But each night I would ask these important questions "what are the significant events of my life?" "what do they mean to me as I plan a new future?" "how can I use all this to make a difference?".

So this week condition your mind with the guiding beliefs and to start asking your question/s. This creates the perfect ground work for you to receive the rest of the ask tool. If you struggle reassure yourself that you're learning and having tried the technique, will make the remaining steps even more meaningful when you read them next week.

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This week I continue to explore the important topic of how to get answers for your life. Last week I put forward two guiding beliefs – firstly that the correct answer to your life lies within you, and secondly that you will receive the answer, but you might need to patiently keep going longer than you really want.

The first step in using the "ask tool" was to continually ask yourself relevant questions. You repeatedly ask until you get the answers. This week we move on to the second step. This is about letting go of finding the answer yourself. When we need to make a decision our mind starts to churn over the problem every waking minute, racking your brain for a solution. Whenever you find yourself consciously seeking an answer, stop the process by reverting to asking the question over and over. Releasing your ideas of what the correct way forward is, or what your options are, will open the door to the new and correct ideas coming through. If your mind wanders back to its old ways the most powerful way to override the process is by speaking the question out loud to yourself. In this way you can drive out the incessant worrying.

As you interrogate your own personal code the next step is create the right environment to hear the answers. This requires bringing yourself to a point of inner quiet. When you are under pressure, this can be a difficult task, and I have found that aerobic exercise or meditative breathing helps a lot. If the indecision or problem is making you depressed, the last thing you will feel like doing is going for a jog, but success requires discipline, so get out there and just do it.

At some point you might be struck with severe doubt as to whether this ask tool will work for you. When this happens reassure yourself that doubting is a normal process and every successful person experiences doubt. It's what you do when doubt comes up that makes the difference. And the best thing to do is to think about someone else who has gone successfully completed the process – for example "Cathy got the answers using this approach. This technique worked for others, it will work for me." Alternatively repeat under your breath "I choose peace instead of this. Answers are coming to me in their perfect time." Keep repeating and go for a walk. Take control of your thought processes, you won't get answers if you don't.

This asking and trusting, and then getting to inner quiet, sets the scene for you to know your way forward. There are many ways that the information you need can be communicated to you. Sometimes it comes in the form of a profound dream. Other times it is a gut feel about something or a desire to do a specific thing. Desire is a powerful indicator. Other times an idea just pops up during the course of a completely unrelated event - for example watching TV.

As your conscious mind relaxes, it makes space for you to hear the solution. I have had many really innovative ideas come to me in this way. In fact answers only arise when you are not trying to get them up. Ideas come to me as I listen to the radio, have coffee with a friend, read a novel on the plane or during a jog along the beach – all unlikely places and activities to find serious answers. "Free" time, letting your mind and body relax is vital to hearing your answers. So this week, ask and trust, relax and listen. You have that blueprint. You can get the right answers.

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Reduce stress by asking

Over the last two weeks I have discussed what I call the "ask tool". Now that you have all the steps in the ask technique the only thing that's stopping you from confidently making the right decisions is you! It's true, apathy, ingrained habits and patterns of negative behaviour hold us back and prevent us from making constructive steps towards getting our lives together in the way we really want. I have an example from my own life.

Since the beginning of the year I have been juggling seven or eight big projects – all the while handling my standard business activities - which can be demanding enough on their own. Having said to myself at the beginning of the year that I wished to get these extra projects up and running, I continually tried to make time to do so, without success. I'm a great believer that capacity is a state of mind, and hence kept trying to work a way to get everything done.

Last week I came eyeball to eyeball with the reality that there was no way I could fit my life and all these projects together simultaneously. Enough with the stress of taking on too much mentally! I decided to stand back and take control of my time and energies by focussing on only one project for now - but which one? All were time sensitive, all were important - and so I turned to my favourite ask tool.

I cleared my desk of paperwork. I filed and sorted until all hours of the night determined to get matters under control. As I did this I was asking "what project should I focus on?" Over and over I asked. Every time that stressed feeling arose, I countered it by asking out loud "show me what project to focus my energies on." The greater the sense of pressure, the louder I asked. I even wrote a sign for myself, a big one, and put it up on my bedroom wall. It said "FOCUS" and had a picture of a rocket launching. Before I went to sleep I looked at the sign, asking again and again "what one project should I focus on". The picture of the rocket inspired me with a sense of power, and I started to build energy and motivation for the quest of finding the right project.

I continued this way for the next day. Later that evening I was driving to gym and I got the idea that the project I select should make the biggest difference. Immediately I incorporated this idea into my asking, saying "show me the project which will make the biggest difference." I kept on, relaxed and trusting, knowing that it was only a matter of time.

As I have explained in my articles, the answer always comes in the most unexpected way. My answer was presented to me by a client the following day. After listening to what they needed, I realised that training requirements would be met by one of the projects I was asking about.

With a light bulb flash I realised I had just got my answer. Not only would I be assisting my client in getting his staff to a point of positive attitude, but in doing so I would be bringing to focus, and therefore completion, one of the big projects I wanted to work on.

You too can achieve a sense of power and achievement by using the ask tool. All that stands in the way is you. Don't. Remember "if it's to be, it's up to me."