Learn your rights and stand up for yourself
"An adult is only a child in an older body." This is what I wrote in my first book, Survive & Thrive: Single-Parent Double-Power. I was discussing what to say to children to teach them to stand up for themselves in adult company. With our current rate of child abuse, this learning is vital.
But today I want to bring YOUR childhood into focus, since chances are that you didn't have a mom who taught you how to stand up for your rights. In fact, I'm almost certain that most of you reading this article had quite the opposite experience – you learned that your opinion didn't count, and you should shut up.
But knowing that you had a disempowering childhood is no excuse for living a disempowered life. Part of my own growth journey involved taking responsibility for teaching myself my rights. It's not an easy process, since feelings of being disempowered are deeply rooted, and arise to sabotage attempts at choosing again.
But in the same way that many South Africans have had to learn their rights under our new constitution, we need to systematically set out to learn our rights as empowered humans. The key to re-learning is repetition. When you repeat something over time, it will become part of you, whether you believe it or not. This is the way of the mind, and we can use this insight to teach ourselves healthy habits. The truth is that nobody will uphold your rights for you. You have to do this for yourself. To help you here Anne Dickson's rights:
I have the right to state my own needs and set my own priorities as a person, independent of any roles that I may assume in life. I have the right to be treated with respect as an intelligent, capable and equal human being. I have the right to express my feelings. I have the right to express my opinions and values. I have the right to say 'yes' or 'no' for myself. I have the right to make mistakes. I have the right to change my mind. I have the right to say I don't understand. I have the right to ask for what I want. I have the right to decline responsibility for other people's problems. I have the right to deal with others without being dependant on them for approval.
I typed up these rights for my children and put it in their bedroom. After story time at night we used to say the rights out loud together. On their way to school in the morning we used to recite them again. My children remember the experience well. They are also extremely powerful individuals. You don't mess with them. So this week, get with your rights. Make repeating them part of your daily routine. Before you know it, you will be standing up for yourself, and building a new and poweful life.
© Catherine M Glennie
