Negative feedback can change your life for the better
How to turn criticism from others into opportunity

A good friend recently gave me some 'input' into my life, actively questioning some of my choices. To be honest, she fired a whole whack of criticism my way.My first response was indignant rejection, and I rose at once to my own defence. Later I got to contemplate the role of criticism in our lives.

Just what we should do when someone criticises who we are and what we do? Is it a good thing, or a bad thing? Do we take their ideas as 100% valid observations, input that need to be acted upon, or do we immediately dismiss it, rejecting it as untrue?

As I contemplated these matters, life gave me a chance to sit on the other side of the fence, being the criticiser. I had felt the impact of someone else's behaviour, and could clearly see how it was producing exactly the opposite results to what they were trying so hard to get. Should I leave them to blunder on, or do I become the 'baddie' and tell them what I see? 'Maybe' I thought, 'if I don't give them this input, no one will, and their life become even more difficult.' Would keeping quiet make me a better or worse person? I suddenly understood the actions of my friend. When we care, we need to give feedback. When we care, we need to listen to feedback.

At some mystical level, the opinions of others can be seen as a chance to define ourselves anew. When we remove ourselves those opinions, we remove ourselves from the very thing that can help us choose at the highest level. Life is a mirror, and we should be brave enough to look into it, and we can do this without compromising our personal vision and confidence. In fact, it's essential that we do it this way.

Criticism becomes a bad thing when we take it as a vote of no confidence in our ability to succeed and move up. Remaining confident is possible if you focus on the personal growth that can arise from seeing yourself through other people's eyes. How the Nobel peace prize came into being is an example of using criticism in this way.

A journalist had confused the death of Ludwig Nobel with his brother Alfred, and written a scathing obituary. In the article, Alfred Nobel, at the time a wealthy businessman who manufactured dynamite, was called 'the merchant of death'. It must have been awful for Alfred to open the newspaper and see his own obituary, and then to read on to discover how poorly everyone thought of him.

He was an extremely powerful businessman but instead of getting the journalist fired or suing the paper, he stood back and allowed life to speak to him of higher possibilities. He asked himself if he deserved to be called anything more than the 'merchant of death'. What followed this line of thinking was a total turnabout in the way he directed his millions, and he set up the Nobel prize for peace, science, literature and more. When he finally did die, the press called him a visionary and humanitarian.

Negative feedback had allowed him to become the person he truly deserved to be. Negative feedback, used properly, can allow you to become to person you truly deserve to be. We all make mistakes and loose our way. None of us is perfect, but we can have the perfect response to our imperfections. Be big! Be brilliant! Look into the mirror of criticism and grow. Maybe it's another world famous idea being born.
© Catherine M Glennie