Comparing yourself to others only leads to unhappiness
Recently some newspapers have written about the brattish behaviour of Russell Crowe after the Oscar awards last week. It was reported that he was so upset at not winning an Oscar for his performance in A Beautiful Mind, that he refused to attend the traditional after party.
Within days of reading these reports I went to see the movie myself. As we all shuffled out of the cinema at the end, an emotion filled silence hung on the crowd - there was no doubt that the film had had an enormous impact on us all. Crowe's performance was brilliant.
The gladiator of past movies had morphed himself to a genius struck with schizophrenia. It was then I remembered his Oscar drama, and two things struck me. Firstly, Crowe's nomination for the award was most deserved. Secondly, whether he won or not, did not alter the calibre of his performance and the impact of the film. I got to ponder the negative impact of our human preoccupation with measurement - in particular measuring what we do versus what someone else does. In my book 'Ride the River' I spend some time exploring this very subject: "This obsessive need to get measurable results is very thing that causes countless millions to loose their way in the world…. But the most insidious element of the results based model, is that our life outcomes are measured against someone else's version of what should be happening, a benchmark hanging in space, totally out of context of our personal experience and life plan. In this we give away our power."
If Russell Crowe is unhappy, what a waste! He has every reason to cheer himself - not feel short-changed. And you too might be giving away your power by comparing yourself to your brother, your sister, your colleague or even some illusive notion of what success should be. By comparing yourselves to others, you'll always end up losing. I have a very clear memory of a small incident that happened years ago at a family function. My eldest daughter was asked by a family member about her academic progress. She reported with some pride on an outstanding result recently achieved in an exam. My relative responded by asking "and what did the rest of the class get?" I was surprised and annoyed at her question since it moved to undermine the achievement. My daughter's results pointed to the fact that she had mastered the subject.
This fact can, and should, stand-alone. Whether or not other students had or had not mastered the subject was simply irrelevant. But my relative's question was, and is, a completely normal response in today's society. It points to no meanness of spirit of her part, but rather to a predisposition of Western thinking to measure everything that happens - even measurement itself!
Motivation and a sense of joie de vivre are about focussing on expressing your talents and desires at the highest level you can. Once you have done this, no more is required of you. Resist the temptation to measure and compare. This week turn your eyes away from what others are doing and saying. Bring total focus to being yourself at your personal best.
Doing this will assure you of a brilliant performance, day in, day out.
© Catherine M Glennie
