Having a strategy is important to success

I was chatting to a friend who was upset by the aggressive and intrusive behaviour of a colleague. She was feeling powerless in the situation and at some level did not feel like going back to work. To counter these feelings I suggested that she formulate a personal strategy and in doing this I was reminded just how important a strategy is in order to get our lives working for us - especially in challenging moments.

Firstly, having a strategy greatly enhances one's sense of confidence, and going forth with an air of confidence injects the situation with a completely different energy - one that increases the possibility of a win-win outcome. But all too often, people are so overwhelmed by the emotion what's happening, that they just can't think objectively enough to start calling on smart strategies that make then feel confident. When this happens they stand to loose what is really a great opportunity, since challenges addressed are the mother of innovation.

To help you turn bad times into great opportunities here are a few strategies that I have found really help:

Define your ultimate objective upfront. This can then be used as a touchstone to determine the best way to deal with the problem. If you, for example state your objective as 'to learn to be more assertive', the behaviour you choose will be entirely different to that of when your objective is 'to complete this task with minimum hassle and fuss all round'. Often people feel really confused about to how handle a situation merely because they have not defined what it is they wish to achieve, so there is great benefit to be had from this exercise.
Focus your attention on the facts, and the facts alone. Whilst we are emotional beings, our emotional response in any situation is entirely subjective and can lead us to the wrong conclusions. By choosing to remain in the realm of fact we can see things differently. If you find difficulty in untangling yourself from the emotional component, doing some aerobic exercise can help you. It's a biological fact that the action of swinging your arms to and fro as you walk vigorously gets the two brains, left and right, equally activated - creating a physical state which allows information to flow from both the left and right brains.
Make a list of all ways you can think of to achieve your stated objective. Review the list and then select two or three that meet the objective most effectively. Indecision is crippling. Having a well thought out plan enables you to take decisive action, even if that action is do to nothing! It will also make you feel powerful, because you will be acting out a purposed choice.
See the learning opportunities in what is happening. In discussion with my friend we realised that this was not the first time a pushy colleague had pressed had her buttons. It seemed to happen in every job – it was an old theme. Seeing this trend was very enlightening and enabled her to adopt a different attitude to it. In essence, the opportunity offered was working on an abiding life lesson. Realsing this helped her navigate the process with a sense of doing something really significant in the bigger landscape of her life.
And then a last and good suggestion from a friend who is a NLP expert, zoom out and view the situation as if you are a third party, a neutral observer. From this position understand the feelings, intents and objectives of all parties – from there you might find the situation deserves a good laugh and not a good cry!